5 Mistakes I’ve Made in My Coaching Career (and What I Learned from Them)

Being a coach is a journey of continuous learning (which can sometimes really send you into a thought spiral!), and if I’m being completely transparent, it’s also a journey of learning from mistakes. Looking back, there are decisions and approaches I used early on that I’m not proud of. But sharing them isn't just about owning up to past mistakes; it’s about showing how my philosophy has evolved to better serve the people who trust me with their health and lives.

Here are 5 major mistakes I’ve realized I've made in my coaching career, as a result of doing a lot of self-reflection, and how they transformed the way I coach today.

1. Telling Clients What to Do Instead of Helping Them Guide Themselves

In the beginning, I thought being a coach meant having all the answers and handing out step-by-step instructions. I used to tell clients exactly what I thought they should do based on my own personal experience and from coaching other clients.

What I learned, though, is that directing isn't empowering. True, sustainable change happens when clients discover their own answers by reflecting on what feels most aligned for them at that time.

Nowadays, instead of giving orders, I ask open-ended questions that help clients explore their own motivations, overcome obstacles, and guide themselves toward solutions that actually feel good, while also offering suggestions and advice if the direction they think they need to head doesn't align with what health, fitness, and nutrition science tells us.

2. Telling Clients They Needed Therapy

When clients hit deep emotional walls or struggled with mindset, I sometimes crossed a line and bluntly told them they needed therapy (saying that out loud causes me to literally cringe). While mental health professional support is invaluable, handing out a prescription-style diagnosis like that was inappropriate and jarring.

What I've realized is that as a coach, my role is to hold space, listen, and operate within my scope of practice. While professional mental health support is often a wonderful complement to coaching, directing someone to therapy without delicate framing can make them feel dismissed or broken. Now, I navigate these conversations with far greater sensitivity and care. Much of the time, I think simply empathizing with my clients so they feel heard would have been a far better approach.

3. Thinking Everyone Needed to Count Calories and Macros

For a long time, I treated macro and calorie tracking as the gold standard for every single person who walked through my coaching door. However, some people just don't do well with that detailed of an approach; in fact, it actually caused them to resist the plan altogether. At the time, I could never figure out why they wouldn't just "stick to the plan."

Over time, I've recognized that nutrition is not one-size-fits-all. For some, tracking macros is a helpful tool; for others, it creates stress, shame, anxiety, or an unsustainable relationship with food. I’ve learned to meet clients where they are, offering mindful strategies, habit-based nutrition, or tracking only when it truly aligns with their goals and well-being.

4. Telling Clients They Didn’t Need Cardio

In an effort to challenge outdated fitness myths, I went too far in the opposite direction and told clients they didn't need cardio at all, telling them to focus almost exclusively on strength training.

As I've matured as a coach, though, my theory has evolved: you need both cardio and resistance training (and mobility, most likely). While resistance training is crucial for bone density, muscle mass, and tendon health, cardiovascular health plays an indispensable role in heart function, stamina, recovery, and overall longevity.

Cardio wasn't the enemy I made it out to be, and incorporating it thoughtfully, in ways that the client enjoys, makes for a much healthier, well-rounded program that the client can be consistent with.

5. People-Pleasing Clients Instead of Offering Honest Perspectives

I used to avoid uncomfortable conversations because I wanted my clients to feel good and like me. When I saw patterns holding them back, I would hold my tongue rather than offer a different perspective. Looking back, it was because I lacked skills in the areas of interpersonal communication and conflict management.

I'm somewhat ashamed to admit this, but this people-pleasing approach was a disservice to my clients. Clients hire a coach for guidance and growth, not just head nods; they could do that on their own. Today, I prioritize honesty delivered with empathy. I now ask clients things like: "I can definitely see how you would feel that way. I'm curious, though, are you open to hearing another perspective on this?" or "That must be really tough. I'm sorry to hear you're feeling that way. I can remember having a similar situation myself. I wonder if you'd be open to hearing what I discovered that I was previously unaware of? This opens the door for real growth while respecting their autonomy.

Final Thoughts

Growth doesn't come without some self-reflection. Admitting where I was wrong and changing my approaches has made me a significantly better, more empathetic, and more effective coach than I was when I first started.